Slam - there it goes again - the window of opportunity - what the hell am I talking about? what opportunity. There was no such thing.
But the snow outside today sure was a nice reminder of the fact that
yes - it is winter.
Let me rephrase that - winter is still present in our area.
Shiny reflections from the metal of the lights,
it's like a rainbow - when I go to take my "too yellow" piss of the afternoon.
After lunch - when there's nothing to do except sit here.
And i'm not supposed to sit here.
Its manditory I go elsewhere for lunch - yet here I am.
I can manage to muster 30 minutes elsewhere - mostly spent in my car - listenign to the same songs as I did when I drove to work this morning.
But there's nothing to read
I just sit - in my car.
I stare at a road map in the hopes of finding a town on the map - and remembering things that have occured there, or how many times I've driven past there, or how many people I know from there, that I dont talk to anymore.
Or wishing I was there now.
Anywhere but here - spending time in my car (which I was 10 minutes ago)
But 30 inutes of that self torture is about all I can handle.
After that I've gotta quit. I just can't keep pushing those memories anymore - I want to have them.
Not wear them out like a pair of pants with a hole in the ass.
You know the kind - where if you sit down - it rips -
and if you sit down again - it rips more -
until you have like 1 whole asscheek just blowing in the wind.
While it's midly amusing to most (and to you for a short time)
It becomes saddening, because obviously
you liked THOSE pants.
You wore them enough to wear them out.
And I dont wanna do that with my memories.
So that half hour alotment of 'memory time' is fine for me.

Roseville - my eyes always go there for some reason - it was the place between pleasure and pain.
Galesburg - what a pain that town was - so boring and inundated with stupid people.
However - roseville - was half-way between there - and macomb.
Macomb - where I spent a few years - and found diving.
Diving transformed me- that team spirit I'd never known.
But the friends too - there were good friends to be had there.
But I digress! Lest I wear out those memories.
Back to the point - roseville was in-between.
I was heading that way all the time.
I found my best friend/brother on the outskirts of civilization - like me. Hanging out there - doing our own things. Parraleled in so many ways -
Computers, music, rock, driving.
It's the way we were - there in our country houses.
He was the beginning of my move in that direction.
My move was final once I reached macomb - final in more ways than one.
Shit - there's the boss - pseudo work resumes.
Wait - i'm on lunch.
Sweet lunch.
Lauren made me a great lunch today - healthy too.
Pretty soon we're probably going to move.